Recently, (as in a few days ago) I finished school. I completed all my classes and I’ll officially have a degree in graphic design. I’m both excited that it’s over and excited for the future and terrified that it’s over and terrified of the future.
I’ve always sort of had my plans up in the air and thought I’d figure it out eventually. Well, I did that, and I sort of figured out what I want to do (I mean, I know what my passions are and I know what my dreams are) but now that it’s here, right now, I feel like I’m not ready for it. But at the same time, I feel ready enough. It’s a weird limbo-like roller coaster ride of anxiety with a lot of pressure that makes me feel like I’m dying. But it’s totally fine, I’m fine, it’s fine.
But because of that pressure, I feel more focused. I’ve suddenly became aware of my surroundings and things—specifically that I lack a good set up to start doing anything. My work space is broken up into three different rooms and I’m in the process of planning to reorganize my life and work space (after the holidays, I’ll be actually moving and organizing—and I think I’ll post all about the setting up my new work space.) There’s also a lot of researching that needs to be done, some purchases I need to make (like possibly a new computer, some more storage, and definitely a new printer) which all has to happen as I need it and as I can afford it, but it a mostly all takes planning.
The end of school sort of feels like going off a cliff. You’ve been able to see the cliff the whole time as you were running toward it, but you’ve always seen it further away than it really was. And while running toward it, you were supposed build a plane along the way before you fell off. Well, I’m off the edge of the cliff with only half a plane. All the schematics are there, the plans to build the whole plane are there, I just have to finish the plane—as I’m going down. So that’s what I’ll be doing in the new year: building the plane before I hit the ground.
My plans/goals are this: the small business I co-run is expanding in January, so I’ll be working hard on that; I’ll be drastically reducing my involvement with my current job, sticking just to freelancing design work for them; I’ll be doing more freelance here and there when I can; and I’ll be working on my own art and design to hopefully start selling online, prints and stationery and other products. And of course I’ll be writing.
So there is a plan. There are goals. Planning and focusing and working is the only way it can happen. I just have to begin. The time to do it is right now—and I think I’m ready.